Readers' Comments
Total Comments: 17
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In Your Next Chapter, Caring for an Aging Parent
Total Comments: 17
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January 9, 2009
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Elderly Care
DoD
Thu Jun 19, 2008 12:00 PM
Post Reply
You don't really know what it is to care for the elderly until it happens to you. The people you work with play an important part because they are your support system (good or bad). You are with them more than your family. My mother is an Alzheimer’s patient. It was really hard for the family to make the decision to admit her in a home, but it was best for her. She is being taken care of by people who know what they are doing. Please try not to pass judgement on others when you don't know all the facts. We are blessed to have jobs that allow us to take time off; however, it is still not easy. May God continue to bless and keep us all.
Taking care of aging parents AND Spouses
NRC
Mon Jun 23, 2008 10:47 AM
Post Reply
What about those of us who have the added responsibility of caring for a chronically ill spouse? Chronically ill means money has run out so the job is absolutely necessary. Inhome care is essential but terribly costly. Why doesn't the government provide assistance for inhome care just as it does for nursing home care. I assure you, we would quality. There are so many things wrong with my husband that the two nursing home experiences were awful.
dummping mom and dad
IRS
Wed Aug 20, 2008 9:50 AM
Post Reply
This article was horrid!! instead of giving advice on how to cope the writter just kept stating there are nursing homes, elder care etc. in other words the author wants us all to be selfish and dump mom and dad if it is inconvenyent to care for them! well I guess the author should kiss the ground thier parents walk on cause they did not just dump him when the going got rough!
if you are writting about elder care then tools and suggestions on how to cope should be given NOT statements that run the same lines as "look out for your self first and if they (the elderly) inconvenyence you shove them in a home!"
Elderly Care
ATF
Wed Aug 20, 2008 11:15 AM
Post Reply
This article does not provide sufficient information on the subject of elder care. I do not think the author has any first hand experience of caregiving (unless he is not the child/sibling/spouse with first-hand assistance & leaves it up to others or has an abundance of time & money to let others do the caregiving) and what constantly runs through your mind and the frustration juggling home, the care for parent, sibling, spouse or child & work, especially in this economy. My husband & daughter may lose their jobs. Since taking on the responsiblity of caregiver for my mother, my leave has dwindled considerably. in our office we are not allowed to work AWS/telework. This is frustrating knowing that other offices in our agency are allowed to take advantage this Investigators (union represented) are able to AWS/telework. Except from some support staff, nothing is even asked to me about status of parent, or how I am holding up. Caregivers, for elderly, are tired of emphasis on new parents.
Care of aging parent
Forest Service
Wed Aug 20, 2008 11:59 AM
Post Reply
Nursing homes, etc. are not always the answer. My Mom is in the early stages of dementa, owns her own home, and I take care of her and work. I am not about to dumb my Mom in a nursing home where the care is not good and there are not enough people to give the one on one care that aging parents need. Home services: even though she is low income, she qualifies for a person to come in to help her once every 2 weeks. Talk to anyone that needs home care for their loved ones and they will tell you that some of these caregivers are not reliable enough to care or to show up for work. They are low paid workers. Nursing homes are expensive. Even if the person has enough money to afford a semi-private room the money runs out and they are warehouse in a ward where there is only a curtain for privacy and have to share the room with patients that are loud, abusive, etc. This author is full of it. I am not about dump my Mom.
elder care
usda
Thu Aug 21, 2008 9:46 AM
Post Reply
when my father was dying my brother moved back home to help out. he works close enough to dash home in an emergency. my father died. it left my mother alone. but, my brother was still there, still is. i thought i had done every thing right to help her. got a trust going. i was paying her bills. now i find out the power of attorney we did still says i can not completly take over her life unless she is declared incompetent. well, she is. and she is getting violent. i have to go to an attorney get medical evidence to prove she is over the bend. and believe me she is. she has closed all her bank accounts. says i am stealing her money now, i can not pay her bills. she is half blind and still refuses to stop driving. have another brother that is feeding her paranoid stuff. he is telling her i am doing it. he wants her house, money everything. my husband is a disabled vet and i have to work or lose my home. the guy that wrote this article has no clue. sell house, ha ha not worth much.
Re: elder care
DoD
Thu Aug 21, 2008 12:59 PM
I went through a terrible guardianship battle w/my siblings when our mother got dementia. They were stealing from her blind, and I stepped in when she asked me why her $$ was disappearing. Sixteen thousand $$ later, I lost the war and Mom passed shortly after I did as much as I could for her. But it was a tremendous lesson in hard knocks. I've now cut them out of my own will and estate (such as it is).
EVERYONE should plan ahead for their aging parents and for themselves. There's no such thing as a "free initial visit" w/probate attys, and they can be hideously pricey. Get your affairs in order NOW. Every family has a screw-up--and they never show up til 1 parent or both is about to die.